We've known each other for 12 years, and we've been married for 9 of those years. You've seen me at my worst and my best, and you know all of my secrets. We've built a pretty crazy life together, with two amazing kids and one ridiculous dog. Sure, we have our fair share of squabbles, but we can still laugh together over stupid reruns of our favorite shows. No matter what obstacle or challenge comes our way, we've always been able to figure it out together...and this life-changing diagnosis of MS is no different.
On a good day, I can take the kids to the park and enjoy the sunshine, feeling hopeful and at peace with this path. I won't feel like I'm going to fall over just walking through the grocery store; I might even get into a mall-walking groove, cruising through Wal-Mart.
On a bad day, when the pain in my face is unbearable and I can't put a sentence together without getting frustrated - you're there. You hold me when I say that I don't want to do this anymore and I don't understand and I'm pissed that God let this happen.
On a good day, I'll enjoy watching you and the kids eat the warm cookies I just baked, grateful that I can give you something you all enjoy...and precious memories to go along with it.
On a bad day, when I feel like the doctors and the medicine and the clinics and the side effects are all too much, and I just want to say "Hell with it all," you'll be there. You don't even have to say anything, but you usually say "I know, babe. I'm sorry," and that's enough for me.
On a good day, I'll stand in church and sing my heart out with the rest of them, my legs holding me up just like they should.
On a bad day, you're there to help me up and offer me your arm when I'm in a spasm or my legs are just too weak to stand up. You say "Who cares what anyone else thinks?" when I say that I'm worried about how people will think of me, sitting down like that during the "standing" part of the church service.
On a good day, my words come more clearly and my memory doesn't play as many tricks on me, and I don't sound like a toddler who's just learning how to speak. I sound pretty...well...normal.
On a bad day, you listen patiently as I try to come up with the right word for a common kitchen utensil. You don't make fun of me when I call a good friend the wrong name; instead, you use these moments as opportunities to teach our kids compassion and patience...so that they can grow up to be just like their amazing daddy.
One day, I may have a really good day when the doctors tell me that they've finally found a drug that remyelinates the nerves, a CURE for this disease. Or, I may have a really bad day when I lose the ability to move my legs, or I fall for the first time, or I lose my eyesight. Maybe all of those will happen; I don't know.
But I know you'll be right there next to me, holding me up, making me laugh, and loving me always - on the good days, and the bad ones.
Such a wonderful salute to a wonderful man. God definitely brought the two of you together and it is together, with God, that you will find the peace you need during both the good and bad times. You are always in our prayers!
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